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NGavrilova blog post
Amor fati

Idle curiosity

by NGavrilova, May/15/2020
Some people write in their profiles "without drama". Supposedly, they had a lot of drama in their lives since they decided to write it in a pretty short presentation "about me". I wondered, do they have some solid communicative tools to prevent "drama" in the future? Or maybe they might think this statement itself like magic spell spares them of any drama in the future? Since it takes two to tango, what if they were part of the drama in all their relationships? Did they reflect on what they kept doing to drive their partners nuts? Did they shared responsibility for that or just blamed others? If they took it upon themselves to prevent drama have they changed their own behaviour? If so why they wrote "without drama" it in their profiles?
It seems "drama" implicitly still there.
Sometimes a wandering mind asks silly questions, you know. But maybe some might have good answers.
Comments [?]

Thats me.
By AmericanHeart, May/16/2020

From my understanding how online dating works and from observation, it is best to keep it "Short, sweet, and to the point" to make it more interesting. Kind of like you want to have an "elevator pitch" when you talk to someone say, for a job when you are in an elevator or for simple pitching (I used to work in retail) and you need to make it short, sweet, and to the point. When you start talking with someone, you then can start talking about serious issues little by little. Not whole autobiography to your potential mate or they will run. I know because I had one who was like that and I RAN!

Now as for "Drama" Yeah, you want to avoid those who talked too much about selves. Narcissism Personality Disorders, or just being Narcissist or even any other personality disorders or just wanted attention. Just avoid them. I was told that just about everyone has a sort of mental ill issue. Just avoid those you feel they are too much to you. You will need to listen in between the lines and their actions in the beginning. Online makes it harder than in person. Hope that helps.


hey there
By rureadytoberevdup, May/16/2020

Drama free= single life with no living relatives or friends


No photo
By Annalea28, May/17/2020

When you started to chatt and know them that will showed, Ifound men more dramatic than women...almost tears in my eyes like watching Korean Nobel..but that's okay to share and express your feeling's😜

Peace ✌️


A Lovely January Day in Rice Lake (2019)
By Thrasymachus, May/17/2020

It could mean they have a phlegmatic personality and hardly respond to any provocation with more than a nearly imperceptible raising of an eyebrow. Or it could mean they cause lots of drama in their own life, but they don't like it, so saying "no drama" here is their plan for stopping it. Or it could mean no trips to Broadway for you. Isn't that the problem in communicating with cliches; they could mean anything?


Amor fati
By NGavrilova, May/17/2020

Guys, what do you think "Drama queens" (men or women doesn't matter), do they realise they are drama queens or they simply think that is the other people's fault?


Just me...
By Gohan, May/19/2020

I think a lot of the time, the "drama queens" think it's everyone else's fault and that they are right. I also think it's those people who put things like "no drama" in their profiles since they don't see themselves as the problem, it's everyone else.

They overreact to everything, have double standards, are emotionally dysfunctional/untethered and love attention. Meh.

As to the person who enters a new relationship and brings baggage from past relationships with them, it's definitely not good or ideal, but I wouldn't call them drama queens.


Amor fati
By NGavrilova, May/20/2020

Thank you for your thoughts.

Yes, "no drama" it is cliche but this very one drew my attention by its dramatic pointlessness.
I am aware that life and people are more complex than words that represent their profiles.

No harm to reflecting on what realms behind the curtains, speaking of reading in between the lines.

Not every conflict is bad, and some element of drama might be entertaining to a certain degree, especially if it means trips to Broadway.

But I know many cases when men were not caring and attentive to their women's thoughts, needs, emotions, or they didn't reciprocate at all - those situations contain the potential for drama and an explosion. It doesn't matter how many partners those people are going to change while their attitude is still there, unchangeable.

Also, some people might write "I hate cheaters" - who loves them? It looks obvious. I do not condone those who cheat, it's terrible. But for instance, if this written by men - I can assume they were probably not attentive to their women's particular needs.

If ""Drama free" = single life with no living relatives or friends" - I may suggest that absence of those people in someone's life doesn't help them to practice their communication skills to prevent drama.


Amor fati
By NGavrilova, May/20/2020

Annalea 28 - yes, It seems true, another problem, and the source of the drama. Ex.: at least in Russia, some men try to be real mucho, and in their men's world, emotions and feelings are something that doesn't worth discussing, and therefore they are suppressed. Their emotions just pile up and without being understood or expressed properly they might find their way out in drama. I am also ok if a man can express their feelings in time, and not hide them.
Only if it is not a manipulation and an attempt to monopolise my attention.


A Lovely January Day in Rice Lake (2019)
By Thrasymachus, May/21/2020

My ex-wife is the only person I know that proudly wears the "Drama Queen" title. Other than in her case, it usually comes off like a derogatory term, most likely only used behind someone's back. There is no objective criteria to admit belonging to a set of actual bona fide "drama queens," so the noun-term itself is a bit questionable, and its use means the user sees their self as less dramatic than the person they are calling "drama queen."



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