Jhie blog post

Memories of You

It has been years since I first felt the skipping of my heartbeat just seeing him walking inside the campus. I was always mesmerized by his presence. Seeing him made my day complete. He was my inspiration.

Day by day, I dream to be his girl. But I know it is far from reality. I am not the girl he visualize to be his girl friend. I am no one to his sight. We are like east and west. In my lonely room, I silently pray he will be mine someday.

The leaves of life keep falling and so were the changes in my life. But the special feeling I have for him still lingers in my heart. One day was a great frustration for me. He is in love with my best friend! My world suddenly crushed into pieces. I cried countless times and thought I will never stop crying. I need to be strong; to go on with my life. I couldn't have him anymore. I avoid every encounter we have and pretended I hate his guts. Oh, I guess that was the big mistake I made in my life - to pretend I hate him because he took it seriously. He found ways to annoy me too. We started arguing every time our path crossed. He let me feel he was disgusted of my presence in the classroom and even tell me he wished I no longer exist. It was as if I had a contagious disease for not letting himself near me.

The argument took months. One day, I decided to stop the argument and ignore him anymore. But he never stopped annoying me. My heart breaks and begged him to spare me from his cruel treatment.

He turned his back from me for a few days. He realized then he has fallen for me. Oh, at first, I never believed him. I thought he was only making lies but he was serious. My world instantly changed. I was the happiest girl that time. I was his girl already. Finally, for so many months, I finally had him! If it was a dream, I don't want to wake up.

Time passed. We need to part ways while studying in college. I bring with me our happy memories. I was a lucky girl but it didn't take long when our relationship started its downfall. Somebody ruined it and I was devastated. Someone took him away from me. It shocked me when I found out they're living together. It hurts so bad.

I suffered for years. I never heard from him again until I found out few months ago that they are going to have a baby.

Even if it is so hard, I go on with my life alone. I learn to forget him even if it is so hard coping with his absence. But time heals all the pain. I recovered and moved on.

I know, somewhere in the future, I will meet someone who will love me the way I am. I need to takes steps toward that "someone".