bookwormlady blog post

I’m old-fashioned

Filipinas come from a culture where people do not express their feelings openly. We do not speak about attraction, kiss on the first date or become physically close before we know each other better. I know this can be confusing to some foreign men but it reflects how we were raised. I simply call that traditional. For us feelings often begin quietly. We watch and listen. We ask ourselves not only if I like him but also if I can trust him and if he still be here when life becomes difficult. Those questions matter to us more than chemistry. From the outside this caution can look like distance. It can look as we aren't romantic or that we don't enjoy affection. The truth is many women simply don't separate physical intimacy from emotional safety. When my heart feels safe I become a different person. I laugh more. I rest my head on your shoulder while we watch a movie. I become playful and affectionate. None of those feelings existed because someone expected them from me. They grew naturally because of love. As to passion it doesn't begin with the body. It begins with feelings understood and respected. Maybe that sounds old-fashioned. If it does, I'm comfortable with that. So yes, I may seem conservative when you first meet me. I may not express my feelings as openly as you're used to. But if I choose you, if I trust you, I’ll love you completely.