By TenderlyYours, Jan/18/2020
Hi! Gab, Happy New Year to you. Your comments are so very correct. I appreciate your open honesty. Just because something may have hurt us or made us sad does not mean that the next person has the same evil intentions. In the past, I did just that. I attached my hurts on those I never met before and that is so foolish. The new person or situation had nothing to do with my past hurts. Thanks for showing all of us who may read your blog, how to approach life and be successful in any situation.:D
By Gab, Jan/18/2020
How r u sir Tenderlyyours?
Yes, exactly.. after all, LIFE is like a looooong JOURNEY, it is not about where we going but it's about who we're going with.. and it's not about where we live but it's about who we live with.
If we can't just let go of what keeps us hurting then we will never learn to move on.
Happy New year to you sir as well.
By Olga777, Jan/19/2020
Why take offense at someone and believes that someone offended you. He gave you experience, appreciate it. Each life ball you go through in order to do the next, and this chain is inextricable with the fact that you collect these pearls of happiness that you can see on the right and left, take steps, sometimes the pearls are large, sometimes small, but the further you go, the more pearls you collect. No need to be offended by anyone, I think that sometimes circumstances do not work out in the most favorable way in order to feel absolute sensuality, but sometimes the connection with a person is deeper, at some mental and subconscious level, and this is more important than anything else. You can feel happy in the details, you are a Princess, Gab! To succumb to temptation is as good as eating junk food, to accept someone else's life as your own, all circumstances, in general. You're a girl, and if a guy asks if he can smoke in your presence, tell him that he can even shoot himself.
By Gohan, Jan/19/2020
Great post. Acceptance is a hard thing to learn when it comes to this sort of thing, but it's absolutely necessary in order to move on. Olga makes a great point as well; it's experience and an opportunity to learn and grow as a person each and every time.
When you finally find that happiness, you would appreciate it that much more knowing all the shit you had to go through to not only get it, but learn the necessary lessons needed to recognize it when it comes and the courage and strength to hold on to it.
After all, once you've been through the worst people can throw at you and come out on the other side, you find out what you're made of and probably realize you're a lot stronger than you thought. :) It's not so easy for others to break you anymore. There's always a silver lining in these lessons.
The maliciousness of others can destroy you and everyone in your path if you let it. What you outline here is the key that unlocks the door to perhaps the most important antidote to maliciousness; acceptance. :)
By TenderlyYours, Jan/19/2020
"Claps! and nods" at the additional comments, bravo!
By Gab, Jan/20/2020
Ms.Olga and Gohan...
Thanks a looot for your beautiful, kind and encouraging words.
May we all find true happiness in life.
By Thir13en_Ghosts, Jan/20/2020
I just view it as a necessary evil and view it as unimportant/irrellavant and move on which has the effect of the negatives seem very trivial.
By Gab, Jan/21/2020
Your love experienced is different from what I had experienced and from other experiences.. it's not same amount of experience and exactly not same amount of pain. Have u ever truly love someone and that someone left you or betrayed you? You will never truly understand it not unless you experience it...
You can say it's irrelevant and unimportant maybe because you have moved on, but I bet , if you are still on the process of healing and mending... You could only wish nothing but to end the suffering and pain. All pains are relevant and important when u are not totally healed yet. But when you can finally moved on , That's where you can say it's not important at all... I totally understand you on that matter.
Good luck on your search anyway..
Thank for the time u allotted for this blog.
By Olga777, Jan/21/2020
Oh, who are you trying to blame for your failures? If a person leaves, he has some reason for this. This is inevitable, you cannot force him to do something that will enhance your selfish beginning to continue out of habit ...
By Olga777, Jan/21/2020
The main thing ...
“People together, while they both want to be together. Neither duty, nor honor, nor morality rivets one person to another. When a person wants to leave, he will leave home, and from children, and from a dying cripple. While he doesn’t want to, he remains nearby.
When a person wants to be together, none of your shortcomings will hinder him. When a person wants to leave, your dignity will not deter him. No matter how ugly and unattractive you are, there is someone who will like you. No matter how good and desirable you are, there is someone who will reject you.
If you are rejected, it does not mean anything. You do not get worse or less, nothing really happens. Your man is in the world, and he will receive you.
If you were received, one day you will part - not in life, but in death. Cherish what you have, do not regret what you lose and do not be afraid to lose.
Rejoice that there is a man who shines on you. Light yourself - the more light, the less fear, the less fear, the less darkness in the soul.
A leaf that wants to return to the tree may float upstream and fly against the wind. But the tree will not grow it to the old branch.
The more you love, the more you give love, the more remains. If, when giving love, you feel pain or hatred - then you gave the person poison in chocolate glaze. It is hardly worth asking for thanks for such a gift.
Let go. Let a person be someone other than the mirror of your love - all the more so as it is.
Dissolving in your beloved is a rare talent and a rare curse.
Be yourself, be worthy, forget about fear - one day he still will not return. But not today.
Believe it. Trust. Gray. Thank you. Do not think about what could be - only about what is here and now, under the stars.
Leave before dead carrion stinks of love. Come before desire turns into obsession.
What is bought for money costs only money. That which is begged, cried out, taken away and stolen is once taken away a hundredfold. What is given of free will from the heart is priceless.
How to recognize your person? - simply! You will meet and encounter him in the middle of the road. He did not know. You did not call. You are found. And wherever you move before, you are now on the way. ”
(c) Peter Mamonov
By Gab, Jan/22/2020
It's soooo beautiful.... Thanks a lot Ms.Olga for sharing it. I appreciate it a lot.
In my personal views, shortcomings is something considered failure or else, all relationships would not end. When people cheat, they cheat...when they leave, they leave ... No matter how almost perfect you may seem to your partner, if people wants to do something against on the relationship, he could/they could because that is something uncontrollable.. thats their personal choice.. you can't do anything about that but to accept it... Its painful but what can u do? I dont think admitting one's shortcomings is a mistakes.. why not blame yourself if that's how it is? Relationship ends because it needs to end... Both involved failed to keep it. If people leave , then let them be. But convincing yourself that short comings are not mistake.. then there must be something wrong ... We all have shortcomings... People would only be lucky enough if despite of all your short comings , there is someone who can still stood beside you and won't leave you...
But where is that person? Where can we find that person? If there is one thing that is hard to find nowadays in this world... It is SOMEONE who can truly accept and love you.... Money is easy to find, work is easy to find also... But a person who can truly love you, is soooooo hard to find... Many are struggling to find it... But lucky are those who finally found it..
Anyway, that personal blog was referring in the past... I'm perfectly fine now.
By Olga777, Jan/22/2020
Remember that you are a princess.
By Thir13en_Ghosts, Jan/22/2020
I can relate to you in that sense Gab, I also have been rejected and hurt very badly in the past by the woman who was my wife, she didn't hold her marriage vows as they should be and her commitment to marriage was not strong enough to keep us together and so we were divorced, the hurt and pain was so strong my whole world was falling apart in front of my eyes but I survived to carry on living my life.
By Gab, Jan/22/2020
Ms.Olga.. you r sooo kind.. thank you..
By Gab, Jan/22/2020
I can imagine your pain...it's hard.. Are you totally hooooo k now? I hope you are. A marriage is not a guarantee for both to be together forever.. lots of trials to be encountered and theres a massive possibility of losing feelings from one another in the long run and the worst, theres an open possibility too of hating each other... its a kind of reality that sometimes scare me... but still, am willing to try.
No matter how people wanted to keep the marriage last, if things are not right anymore.. getting a divorce is i think the best option , it's better that way than to live a miserable and unhappy marriage life..
It is not how you went through the process of healing and mending because that's sometimes could be very tough , sometimes , it takes time to heal the pain. What's important is, you survived the whole thing after.
God bless your heart sir.
By TenderlyYours, Jan/22/2020
In my opinion, the best way to form a relationship is to become friends with your potential mate. I say potential because in the process of establishing your friendship it may not work. If you are unable to become true friends there is no reason to take that developing relationship forward. I think that people, especially ones who desperately want a mate move into relationships before there is any type of connection. When that happens that relationship is doomed to failure. There are many factors involved that influence our decisions in matchmaking. We must not allow our thighs to make our decisions or the same doomed results will happen. Just because a lady shows interest in me romance wise does not mean that we are a match. Slow careful encounters building toward a long term friendship is the best way forward if we truely are seeking a life long, and beyond, romatic partner.
By Gohan, Jan/22/2020
That's the approach I'm taking now. It was always .. "Hey, we have a connection, so let's give this a shot and figure everything out along the way!" Sometimes, it works out to be a genuine match and if the relationship ends, it's for unrelated reasons.
There's also been times where I was friends with someone for 5-6 months and as soon as romance is brought into it, the person changes. It's no guarantee either way, but you pretty much recited my profile there. lol
I'm really just looking to establish a "best friend" relationship with someone at this point. If I ever fall in love again, it's gonna be with my best friend. I don't think I could do it any other way anymore. There's just too much potential for unnecessary heartache for both people involved.
Of course, I always had the impulse to dive right into things. It's probably because I never really had any friends that were worth a shit in my adult life and so I undervalue the importance of that step. Then, every time I would end up in a long term relationship taking that approach, it just reinforced my view on the matter.
I certainly brought a lot of hell on myself, but in the end, I'm glad for it all. I learned what love is and isn't more with each failure, more about myself and what I need and can't deal with in a relationship and hell, some of them were actually good people that I'm glad I knew/know.
Experience is valuable even if it's negative and painful. The downside to learning that way is that it comes with a certain degree of desensitization that is cumulative. Being hurt doesn't actually hurt as much as it did the last time.. each time. It can give the impression that you never really cared or loved in the first place, but it's not that at all. It's just... when you go through it enough times, you just get used to it. Kinda cold, I guess. At some point, you just run out of tears. Letting go is easier. It's a sort of cold, self preservation thing.
By TenderlyYours, Jan/23/2020
Hello! Gohan: Your insightful comments are so rich in detail. You have a great outlook on life I am sure after reading what you have posted in here. No one is perfect. All of us are weak in some sense when it comes to matters of the heart. We must all try as best we can to keep going forward with proper thinking and not allow our desires to rule our actions. I choose to remain single unless I find the right lady under the right conditions. It is only fair to her and myself. Hopefully, our dialogs here are being read by the right potential mates who will contact us, although that is not my reason for writing what I have. :)
By Gab, Jan/23/2020
In whatever ways and in which form you like to meet your desire woman, I hope it won't take long for you guys (Sir Thrasy and Gohan) to find her...
Best of luck to both of you
By Olga777, Jan/23/2020
Gab, tell these guys that their philosophy will lead them into a dead end, because sometimes too much worrying about the meaning of life does not lead to anything other than combing allergic spots that result from nervous overload. If you are overtaken by thoughts about unhappy love or the fact that you were abandoned, the only way to get rid of depression is to do physical education. Please do this and you will feel how your hormones begin to feel the approach of spring.
By Gohan, Jan/23/2020
Hehe, my hormones are alive and well. I always thought 40 was the beginning of the end and I'm almost there. I'm not nervous or worrying much about this because I'm generally OK with being single and happy. The fact that I was hurt/abandoned in the past doesn't motivate me to do anything except adjust my approach. I'm not sad or upset about any of that stuff in the past and certainly not overtaken by them, I did learn something from it all, though.
I think the only way I would be nervous, depressed or overtaken by the past is if I felt I NEEDED a relationship to be happy and would never be happy based on that criteria. I don't. I could probably be happier with, but not with just anyone. I'm certainly not scared to put myself out there and be vulnerable. Ya got me all wrong, Olga. lol
I can be happy alone and don't need someone for that. I used to think I did, but I was wrong. Back then, I had all those thoughts you speak of and it caused me to make a lot of bad decisions.
By Olga777, Jan/24/2020
Life is too short to be miserable
By Gohan, Jan/24/2020
Agree 100%. :)
By Thir13en_Ghosts, Jan/25/2020
One thing I am happy about is the fact that we seem to have brought some life into the blogs now, it would be great to keep seeing more blogs coming soon.
By Gab, Jan/25/2020
Writing blogs makes me frequently active from my inactive status mode... So,... Yeah, ... Probably writing more blogs... I like expressing things this way..glad LUVFREE have this kind of portion here... THANK YOU LUVFREE and thank u all for spending time sharing ur thoughts and words. I do appreciate it much.