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ThuhL blog post
When did you fall in love for the first time? How did it go?
by ThuhL, Aug/17/2020It was a "love-at-first-sight" High School crush that lasted about 5 years. I thought he was the most handsome yet delicate thing I ever set my eyes upon, comparing his skin to the gently fallen snow-capped mountains, his dark hair to the deepest corners beyond the universe. His lack of attention to me, however, added to the murky sadness that I was already enduring—we didn't even become friends. I would steal memories of him at scared yet savored glances. I remember being a student-aid, I looked his class schedule up on the school's data-base so I could simply shoot eyes at him in between passing-periods—almost in a way, watching over him. Came the end of the school-year & I readied a note to him, squeezing my heart into it where I had a friend that personally knew him as to deliver it to this young man. I also summoned up the courage to get this gentleman to sign my year book in which he wrote, 'Have a nice summer.' — This was about the only reaction I got from him despite such potent and dire admiration. To this day, I still haven't an idea if he even got my note. I have learned quite a bit since this particular event in my life, and when I look back at it, it was just a one-way love. It has made my heart more calloused and attune. This experience only strengthens Alfred Lord Tennyson's quote, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Love is a very powerful emotion as you well know. Especially at a young age or I am sure when you encounter your soul mate no matter what age you might be. When I first started dating my wife to be my love for her was a fast roller coaster ride. The rising tides of it were so overwhelming at times that I thought I might burst. She felt the same way. That went on for more than a year. After that, it took a slow downslide. My mistake was that I did not know how to properly cultivate our love so that it would last forever. After 22 years our marriage ended in divorce. That divorce was her idea, not mine. She since has passed away. I still think of her often and still love her. I have read a few life-changing books and feel I am better prepared for that next lady I fall in love with. I want to end with a quote: “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.” ― Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend.
It is too late for me to change my past but it is the memory of it that helps me pave a much better road to my future.
