I'm Applying for the Open Boyfriend Position
|I am a||Man|
|From||Salem, Massachusetts, United States|
|Want children||I will tell you later|
|I look for a||woman any ethnicity for friendship, relationship, romance|
More about me:
Iím here to see what happens when I use a dating site. Iíve been able to do a lot of the things that Iíve wanted to do over the years, and this year I promised myself Iíd do a bunch of stuff that I never wanted to do to make up for that.
Iím an actually single single man. I donít have a side chick or a FWB, Iím not stringing along a chain of millennials with daddy issues, and Iím not the kind of single where I failed to tell my wife or girlfriend that Iím single. I have a good job, my own house, my own car, I know how to wash and fold laundry, I know that you also donít wash your red shirts with your white sheets, I know how to clean, I know how to use a toilet without making a mess, and Iím an expert in the kitchen. My go to recipe when I want a low maintenance meal is simple; add one frozen chicken breast to liter of chicken stock with some onion and garlic and slowly simmer until itís cooked, cut up the breast and return with the stock, now add a bag of your favorite organic frozen veggies, some ho-sin, oyster, and soy sauce to taste, a little lime and a dash of something sweet like honey and simmer until the veg are thawed, then toss in a handful of your favorite Asian noodles and cook until done. Look at you Ö you just made soup from scratch. You can vary your veggies and noodles all the time so itís like a brand-new soup each time you make it.
I like to do outdoor things if I can, but I can also just lay on the floor and forget to move. Iíve been getting back into the gym because I like watching people using the equipment wrong. I pay way too much for cable that I donít watch but every time I call to cancel they offer me a better rate and more channels I wonít watch so I stay signed up. I have a salt water fish tank and I love sushi Ö this proves Iím a complicated and unique person for those of you that is important to. I hate yogurt Ö itís a horrific goo that should be illegal. My favorite hobby is watching millennials try to be adults in public Ö itís so cute, bless their hearts.
Iím not looking for a mother, a warden, a babysitter, or a chaperone, but someone to drive me to the hospital when I do something stupid would be cool. If youíre overly sensitive or excessively serious we will not get along. Please donít have 12 dudes on the side youíre juggling from dating sites. Most importantly, please donít be an unhinged psychotic full-blown nutter Ö it was cute when you were in your 20ís but now itís just scary AF. Having some skeletons in the closet is fine Ö having an actual skeleton in the closet, not so much.
Ok thatís all, if youíre in love with me already feel free to chat me up. Bonus points for true sleuths.