By MrWrite, Dec/09/2015
I can't speak for any of the men you refer to as I'm not among them, but...
I can easily see how this might happen. I've never joined a dating site (until just now to reply to your blog post). This is due in large part to the fact that I think I would have a very hard time telling a woman who replied to my "ad" that I'm not attracted to or interested in her, and that further correspondence would be a waste of both of our time. If I'm visiting a dating site, it's likely to be for the purpose of seeking someone with whom I see potential for a romantic relationship. I didn't come here to spend a lot of time chatting with those who aren't prospective mates.
I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by way of terse, blunt rejection. On the other hand, I don't want to be so rude as to just not reply to them at all. And I do think that anyone who takes the first step and approaches me does at least deserve a response. A dilemma. Solution: Just don't join in the first place.
As for the part of your blog post about age, looks, body type, etc., not being listed as traits they are looking for... I suspect they might fear appearing shallow and focused on the superficial, and therefore undesirable if they said they were only interested in young, slender, beautiful women (even though that might be true). Speaking strictly for myself, I can say that I might like a lot of things about her heart/mind that she spells out in her profile. But I can usually tell by a glance at her picture if I would likely have any sexual/romantic attraction for her.
While I may be incredibly handsome with a perfect physique, fantastically wealthy, hysterically witty, just the right age, look dashing in a tux, am a great dancer, a better kisser, an even better lover, and just God's gift to women overall... I know it turns me off to read a profile from a woman listing these things as what she seeks in a man. She would sound shallow to me, and therefore undesirable. She couldn't love me, because it's not "me" she's looking for. She sounds like she's looking for an ego boost in the form of a sugar daddy who would be the envy of all onlookers.
I don't know if any of this applies to the men whom you referred to, but I thought I'd throw it out there because your question resonated with me. I hope this has been honest enough without being hurtful to anyone.
Best wishes, and good luck in your quest.
Sincerely, Mr Write
By rosemarie80, Dec/15/2015
Hello Mr Wright, Thank you so much for taking your time to write your opinion. I really appreciate your comments and I can totally understand what you are saying. In so many ways we all struggle with the same issues with finding that 'right' person, however, I just wish everyone could be more honest, down to earth, polite, and a little more open to the fact that a majority of individuals on the websites are just regular people. We all have a history that helps shape who we've become, what we like and don't like, and what we feel makes us happy. In my opinion if a person looks only at the outside of a person then a relationship will not last. What's inside a person can melt your heart, the sound of their voice can turn you on, the look I their eyes can set the a warm glow all over your body. I personally know these feelings because my husband (now deceased) and I had these feelings in our relationship so I know personally they do exist. I would not consider either one of us gorgeous by today's standards, but I would have put our love for each other far above most relationships out their today. I believe if I am patient one day I can have this again. But the question is will I meet someone on the single's websites or through a friend/family member. Thank you again as you have been the most honest man to write so far.
I am curious however why you don't have a photo attached to your comments?